So I was thinking about something the other day. I used to do a lot of story planning on the toilet. Plotting. Character building. World building. So much of it used to come to me as I was sitting on the porcelain throne. Some readers have already clicked away by now. Some writers are busy nodding along to the sentiment. You see, I know I’m not alone. Many of us come up with some of our best ideas while on the can. Why, I bet Conan is a product of particularly rowdy curry the night before. OK, that claim is completely baseless, but I hope it’s true.

There’s a reason for it. It probably has some sort of fancy scientific terminology. It’s the same reason we often come up with awesome ideas in the shower.

• It’s to do with performing a task that’s easy, that requires little to no real thought or concentration.

• That prevents you from doing others things thus giving you the time to be creative.

• It’s a time when you’re (typically) alone and therefore away from the distractions that others present.

• It’s a sort of ritual and those are good for helping people to focus their minds.

None of this is a new concept. The TV sitcom Scrubs even did a whole episode on it.

The epiphany toilet.

I’m not really sure the toilet being on the roof and open to the air would help with generating those awesome ideas, but maybe with the stench. Fresh air helps the creative mind… toilets help the creative mind… put them together and you have a criminal offence.

So where am I going with this? Well if all (yes, it’s maybe more like some) of the best ideas come out of the toilet, then I have a problem. Because I’ve stopped using my toilet time to think of awesome creative ideas. These days I sit down on the bog and…

Never search Google for images of using the phone on the toilet… just don’t… not worth it.

Sad but true. I sit down and whip out the phone. I then proceed to browse my Facebook feed, or check my email, or load up a little mobile game. The last one is particularly bad because I sometimes find myself sitting on the toilet for a while even after I’ve finished because I really really REALLY want to finish a level of * insert generic match 3 game name here *.

Yes, I realised the other day that I had willingly sacrificed one my best (and daily) creative times to the electronic deity we all worship: our phones. Now I’m not about to hate on smartphones. I love mine. It goes everywhere with me, even the toilet. Probably not very hygienic now I think about it, but BAH! you all do it too. What I am about to do is make a change to my lifestyle.

From now on, I’m reclaiming that time of my life dedicated to pooping out awesome ideas. I’m taking back the john from my electronic overseer. No more phones on the toilet!

Say it with me:

NO MORE PHONES ON THE TOILET!

Or down it for that matter… even if it is the best place for an iPhone…